A CHURCH OF APPROPRIATE BOUNDARIES
By Ralph Spence - July 1996
God is both male and female, and humanity separately embodies the female and male spirituality and nature of God. Holy matrimony forms a sacred union which makes a new creation that is far greater than the sum of each individual. Therefore, any union without both male and female is spiritually and physically incomplete. This union also provides the opportunity to grow through the mutual ministry which is part of having and raising children. Although same-sex commitments could be considered as partnerships based on love, the church must continue to acknowledge the greater potential for new creation and spiritual growth that is realized through traditional marriage.
In responding to the needs of homosexual members, we must avoid actions which might encourage young members to experiment with their sexuality or consider adopting the homosexual lifestyle. If a person is able to have sex heterosexually, the church should advise him or her to strive for the spiritual completeness found through traditional marriage. The church should not teach that sexual orientation is simply a matter of choice. We must give guidance to children who might confuse feelings of friendship and love with sexual attraction, or confuse sexual desire with love. All desires are not a gift from God. Therefore, families need a church that can help our children learn to respect themselves and teach them the value of self-discipline and appropriate boundaries.
Current discussion in the Episcopal Church concerning sexuality is in the process of tearing down the authority of the church found in scripture, tradition and even reason. Some persons use "cultural bias" as an excuse to undermine biblical authority, while challenging our tradition because it does not express "modern" cultural bias. They also dismiss the authority of reason by proclaiming that no one has the right to judge others, while they judge those who disagree with them to be wrong. Our families must be able to look to the church for help in providing the values and beliefs that will guide and protect our children through life. Sexual activity can endanger our young people's spiritual well-being, can result in suicide or unwanted pregnancies, and can expose them to sexually transmitted disease. Without the authority of scripture, tradition and reason, the church can still offer God's healing love, but it cannot offer the values and guidance that can help prevent children from being exploited and hurt. The purpose of embracing the church's moral authority is not to control others, as many fear, but to prevent others from controlling us and our children.
Homosexual members who wish to be sexually active and also serve God should understand that ordination is not a requirement for ministry or a measure of its value. As we discuss their ordination as well as same-sex unions, we must keep several questions in mind. If ordained to the role of "wholesome example" to our membership, can non-celibate homosexual persons separate the example of their sexuality from their spirituality in order to avoid promoting the homosexual lifestyle? Can we ordain individuals for a lifestyle-specific congregation without creating an exclusive community? Does ordaining practicing homosexual members, with no recognition of same-sex unions, encourage promiscuity? Will we undermine the spiritual importance of traditional marriage if we give same-sex unions equal status in the church? What guidance will be given to our children regarding sexual orientation and sexual activity? What comfort can we offer members who believe in the sanctity of traditional marriage and fear the influence church action will have on their children? How will the unity and relevance of the national church be affected by whatever action we take?
Our discussions should seek a pastoral response to these questions and others that have been raised by our membership. Even though we might differ in the solutions we support, most of us do share many of the same concerns. Better understanding of those concerns can unite our membership and might reveal ways to provide answers while avoiding policy that creates winners and losers.
